weasley chat dot com
by lady-bluebeard
Summary: Fred and George start Hogwarts' first chatroom, and you'd be surprised by the weird conversations that ensue. comedy, peoplez. UPDATES GALORE!
1. Part 1: HarryP

**AN: Hello! This is a rewritten version of my old Harry Potter chatroom story, it is basically the same, minus a few mishaps that drove me nuts! Thank you guys SO much for reading. I love and appreciate you all! And, this is set in no specific time or book for the record, so please ignore crazy out of canon stuff. Thank you!**

* * *

**  
1of2:** Welcome to Weasley dot org, home of the first Hogwarts chatroom!  
**2of2:** u were supposed to stop at "dot org"  
**1of2:** oops, lol**  
2of2: **: I  
**1of2: **let's try this again....  
**2of2:** okay!  
**1of2:** Welcome to Weasley dot org, home of the FIRST Hogwarts chatroom!  
**2of2:** U did it again! you just emphasized "first" this time!  
**1of2: **$%#&  
**2of2:** lol. its okay.  
**1of2: **you know it's REALLY hard to say :(  
**2of2: **It's alright, lets try again, ready?  
**1of2: **I am ready!  
**2of2: **you sure, ur not gonna say it again?  
**1of2:** yes! er, NO! I'm gonna say it right!  
**2of2:** okay, Take three! go!  
**1of2:** Okay, Welcome to Weasley dot org -  
**2of2:** - home of the first Hogwarts chatroom!

**1of2:** Yayz!  
**2of2:** w00t w00t! u were great.  
**1of2: **thx!

_-HarryP has entered chat room-_

**2of2:** our 1st guest!  
**HarryP: **Hey guys, what's all this about?  
**1of2:** it's about world domination of course!;-)  
**HarryP:** ...  
**2of2:** wtf?  
**HarryP:** Did you just wink at me?  
**1of2:** ...did I?  
**2of2: **I think you did!  
**1of2:** anyway. We want everyone in school to come into our chat room, so everyone will love us!  
**2of2:** Stop trying to change the subject!

_-HerMyOhMe has entered the chat room-_

**1of2:** I DIDN'T WINK AT HARRY!  
**HerMyOhMe: **Excuse me?  
**1of2:** uuuuh, you heard me....  
**2of2: **Don't mind him, he's PMS-ing!

**HarryP: **Hey, Hermione.  
**HerMyOhMe: **Hello, Harry, I didn't know you were "logged on" as people say.  
**HarryP:** Yup, just got on. And I think he winked at me, by the way.  
**HerMyOhMe: **Who winked at you, exactly?  
**HarryP:** ?? now that you mention it, I'm not sure who has what as a username..  
**2of2:** stop talking bout us like we're not here, in case ya forgot this is OUR chat room, so we're God in your eyes, hey Hermione, wanna pray?**HerMyOhMe: **quiet, you pervert.  
**HarryP:** so who's who? which one of you is Fred?  
**1of2: **why... do you prefer Fred??  
**HarryP: **N-no.. but if we knew which ones Fred, then we'll know which ones George, I was just using him as an example..  
**1of2:** maybe I'm Fred..  
**2of2: **and maybe I'm George...  
**1of2:** OR... maybe I'm George  
**2of2:** and maybe I'm Fred....  
**HerMyOhMe: **you two are utter twits, and Harry does it really matter? either way one of them winked at you!  
**HarryP:** ....good point

* * *

-OrangeYaGlad entered the chat room-

**HarryP:** hey  
**HerMyOhMe: **hello ronald  
**OrangeYaGlad: **Hi guys  
**1of2:** Hiya!  
**OrangeYaGlad: **Hiya?  
**1of2: **What, you never heard a guy say "hiya" before?  
**OrangeYaGlad: **To be perfectly honest, no, I haven't, Fred.  
**HarryP: **Fred? how do you know it's Fred?  
**OrangeYaGlad:** huh? whatcha mean? I just KNOW, I mean look at it....  
**1of2: **:)  
**1of2: **....wait, HEY. :-O  
**OrangeYaGlad:** Fred loves emoticons.

**2of2: **( ) ( )  
**2of2: **(O.O )  
**2of2: **C(U U ) lol look a buny rabbit.**  
2of2: **Damn, it came out crooked!  
**HarryP:** ???

**OrangeYaGlad:** what am I saying? they're both fairies. -sigh-  
**1of2: **:-O  
**2of2:** :-O  
**HerMyOhMe:** Wait, which one has that weird hair wave/flip thing?  
**1of2: **HEY!  
**2of2: **we BOTH have that!!  
**OrangeYaGlad: **Oh, merlin.  
**HarryP: **this is hopeless.


	2. Part 2: Vodka

_-Vodka has entered chat room-_

**HarryP:**What the-? who is Vodka??  
**1of2: **who cares? hey bay-bay ;)  
**Vodka: **Ew! u freak! It's Ginny!!  
**1of2: **oops...  
**2of2: **Talk about therapy.

**HerMyOhMe: **GINNY?! Are you a alcholic?! I can help!  
**Vodka: **Ugh. NO. My name is GINNY? geddit? Do I have to spell it out for you?  
**1of2:** I think that would be best.  
**2of2: **Yes please.  
**Vodka: **My name is Ginny, like Gin. Which is sorta like vodka.. geddit yet?  
**OrangeYaGlad: **Oh, okay! ..still.. it's weird.  
**HarryP: **Like you have any room to talk about usernames, Ron..  
**OrangeYaGlad: **What? mines like the knock-knock joke!  
**Vodka: **-coughTOTALHAIRJOKEcough-  
**OrangeYaGlad: **It's not like that!

**1of2: **But, then again, you don't have any room to talk either, Harry.  
**2of2: **Yeah.. 'HarryP'.. that's pretty funny  
**OrangeYaGlad: **HarryP.. that_ is_ funny....  
**HarryP:** .. stop..  
**2of2:** ha.. there it is again!  
**1of2:** HA! make it stop  
**HarryP:** Stop... stop it..  
**2of2:** LOL There it is!!!  
**HarryP: **will you shut it?!  
**2of2:** ...hairy..peni-  
**HerMyOhMe:** Hey! the author has given us a 'T' rating, such profanity will not be amused.  
**1of2: **_Damnnn..  
_**2of2: **_I been told..  
_**1of2:** hehe  
**2of2: **Harry...P..  
**1of2:** ..make..it...stop..  
**HarryP: **I'm never going to live this down.  
**1of2: **lol.... "Hairy Potter: the-boy-who-shaved"


	3. Part 3: NaturallyBlond

**  
1of2:** -lmao-  
**2of2:** -gigglesnort-  
**HarryP:** STOP IT.  
**1of2:** -lolz-**  
2of2:** -rotfl-  
**HarryP: **STOP IT.  
**HerMyOhMe:** Don't listen to those buffoons, Harry. You're name is sensible and understandable.  
**HarryP:** Thanks.... _But it still bothers me.  
_**1of2:** -chuckle-  
**OrangeYaGlad:** Yeah, I could understand why... I mean, it _is _pretty funny.  
**HerMyOhMe:** You shut your mouth you belligerent little fungus!  
**2of2:** _Sista told you!  
_**OrangeYaGlad:** what? why me?... And why fungus?  
**HerMyOhMe:** You're as bad as your two fairy brothers!  
**OrangeYaGlad:** wha'd I do?  
**HerMyOhMe:** You're .. irritating. Plus, you've contributed nothing to finding out which one is Fred and which is George.  
**1of2:** you know what they say Hermione, you tease the ones you love..  
**2of2: **and you seem to be teasing our little Won-Won, quite a bit.  
**1of2: **yup, she's practically pulling his virtual pigtails.  
**HerMyOhMe:** Oh, you two... shut you're babbling up.  
**OrangeYaGlad:** Would you two shut up!  
**1of2:** Aw, they're even sharing speech patterns!  
**2of2:** Ron and Hermione sittin' in a treeeeeee  
**1of2: **K-I-S-S-I-N-G!  
**OrangeYaGlad:** NO WAY! LIKE I WOULD EVER KISS _HERMIONE. _  
**HerMyOhMe:** ...oh. I see.  
**HarryP:** He didn't mean it like that, Hermione, he's just dense sometimes.  
**1of2:** better watch out, Ron, Hairy is zoning in on your chick!  
**OrangeYaGlad:** shes not "my chick"! and hermione, I didn't mean it like that, I just meant that we're just is all. They're just annoying and forced it out of me!  
**HerMyOhMe:** Hmmmm, okay. apology accepted.... slightly.

* * *

-NaturallyBlond has entered the chatroom-

**NaturallyBlond: **hi  
**1of2:** another guest!  
**2of2:** who is NaturallyBlond?  
**HarryP:** who knows?  
**OrangeYaGlad:** Ooh, maybe it's a Veela. Those chicks are always nice and blond an- and- well. You know.  
**HerMyOhMe:** RON!  
**2of2** jealous much? Hermione?  
**HerMyOhMe:** No!  
**1of2:** Looks like there is hope for you and Herms yet, Won-Won.  
**NaturallyBlond:** Won-Won? that's priceless....  
**1of2:** OMG I HAVE AN IDEA!!  
**2of2:** chill out, capslock.  
**OrangeYaGlad: **an idea? thats a first.  
**1of2:** we can ask NaturallyBlond Question and whoever guesses her true identity gets to have NaturallyBlond as a slave.  
**HarryP:** okay?  
**NaturallyBlond: **And what if you don't guess?  
**HerMyOhMe:** then its only fair she owns all of us.  
**OrangeYaGlad:** lets play!  
**  
1of2:** okay, first question: are you hawt?  
**NaturallyBlond:** Yes.  
**HerMyOhMe**: are you athletic?  
**NaturallyBlond:** Yes.  
**OrangeYaGlad:** it must be that cute Ravenclaw seeker who was checking me out yesterday.  
**HarryP:** it was less checking you out and more pointing and laughing...  
**OrangeYaGlad:** NUH UH!  
**HarryP:** are you a teacher?  
**NaturallyBlond:** Eff no.  
**1of2:** are you popular?  
**NaturallyBlond: **Yes.  
**2of2:** would you snog me?  
**NaturallyBlond:** NO!  
**HerMyOhMe:** that narrows out no one..  
**HarryP:** have we met?  
**NaturallyBlond:** Yes  
**1of2: **have legions of teenage girls written slash about you and Harry?  
**NaturallyBlond:** Yes...  
**1of2:** IT'S MALFOY!  
**HarryP:** WHAT?!!  
**OrangeYaGlad:** yeah.. WHAT!?!  
**1of2:** you are owned Malfoy.  
**NaturallyBlond:** Bite me, Weezle-bee..  
**1of2: **Quiet, my Bitch Man-Slave.  
**NaturallyBlond:** ARRGH!


	4. Part 4: V1XeN1102

_-V1xeN1102 has entered the chatroom-_

**V1XeN1102:** Is this thing on?  
**2of2: **Holla V1XeN1102!  
**V1XeN1102: **Hello.  
**2of2: **Do I know you?  
**V1XeN1102: **I don't know. do you?  
**2of2: **Mysterous.... I like it.  
**NaturallyBlond: **Deliver me.  
**2of2: **Don't be jealous that all the girls dig me, Malfoy.  
**V1XeN1102: **Malfoy? Lucius Malfoy?  
**NaturallyBlond: **Naw, Babe. I'm his smexy ass son, Draco. Why?  
**2of2: **Back off my woman, Malfoy!  
**V1XeN1102: **I knew your father.  
**NaturallyBlond: **Oh. but what about me?  
**V1XeN1102: **Your cool 2 ;)  
**NaturallyBlond: **Wait.. "knew" like in a biblical sense?  
**V1XeN1102: **Maybe.... tehe.

* * *

**  
2of2: **What about me, V1XeN1102? Have you forgotten our chemistry?  
**V1XeN1102: **Sorry, but I've found someone else.  
**NaturallyBlond: **lol  
**2of2: **How could you do this to me?  
**1of2: **After all hes done for you!  
**V1XeN1102: **People change.  
**HarryP:** Bloody hell.  
**Vodka: **O_O  
**HerMyOhMe: **You two just met!  
**2of2: **it was an instant connection.  
**OrangeYaGlad:** Get over it.  
**NaturallyBlond: **Older or younger my delicious little V1XeN1102?  
**HerMyOhMe: **What?  
**V1XeN1102: **Older.... you butterscotch stallion you.  
**HerMyOhMe: **Gross!  
**NaturallyBlond: **Your 2 kind.

**HarryP: **You people have issues!  
**V1XeN1102: **Wait, HarryP? Is that Harry Potter?  
**HarryP: **Who wants to know?  
**V1XeN1102: **A secret admirer ;-)  
**Vodka:** EXCUSE ME!?  
**NaturallyBlond: **What are you saying?!  
**HerMyOhMe: **V1XeN1102 gets around...  
**OrangeYaGlad: **Yeah she does.  
**HarryP: **A secret admirer? I like secrets :)  
**V1XeN1102: **I bet you do. You sexy beast.  
**HarryP: **Did you hear about the time I found a secret chamber INSIDE Hogwarts? It's a story best told in person....  
**NaturallyBlond: **You little tramp!  
**Vodka: **Yeah, back off bitch!  
**HarryP: **Well, it seems our union was never meant to be  
**V1XeN1102: **But, I'll never forget you, my lightening-bolt babe.  
**HarryP: **Goodbye, my sweet.  
**Vodka: **EXCUSE ME, HARRY JAMES POTTER! YOU BETTER MARCH YOUR BUTT DOWN TO THE GREAT HALL ASAP! WE NEED TO TALK!

_-Vodka has left the chatroom-_

**HarryP: **Oh gawd, I gotta go hide from Ginny. Bye guys.  
**HerMyOhMe: **Bye Harry.  
**OrangeYaGlad: **Yeah, goodluck.  
**HarryP: **oh, & almost forget: what's your name V1XeN1102?  
**V1XeN1102: **Oh, of course. It's Minerva.  
**HerMyOhMe: **Oh. My. GOD.  
**NaturallyBlond: **OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG  
**1of2: **I am spewing BILE! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG  
**OrangeYaGlad:** What? I don't geddit.  
**HarryP: **Wait. Did you just say.... Minerva??  
**V1XeN1102: **Yup. What's the problem?  
**HarryP: **Your last name.... wouldn't happen to be... Mcgonagall.... would it?  
**V1XeN1102: **Well, yes. It certainly is. ;)  
**OrangeYaGlad: **Hey, that's the Professors last name, i didn't know she had a granddaughter.... WAIT ... OH MY GOD!  
**HerMyOhMe: **You JUST got It?!  
**HarryP: **o ... m .... g ....

_-HarryP has left the chatroom-_**NaturallyBlond: **OLD PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO USE COMPUTERS!  
**V1XeN1102: **You didn't have a problem with me BEFORE, Draco....  
**NaturallyBlond: **I didn't think you meant THAT much older!  
**1of2: **can't... breathe....  
**2of2: **Mcgonagall.... Harry....  
**V1XeN1102: **I don't think you have a reason to laugh, either, Fred! You were all over me a moment ago!  
**HerMyOhMe: **Wait, you know which ones which?  
**V1XeN1102: **Yeah. Don't you? Fred is "2of2"...  
**OrangeYaGlad: **How did you know?  
**V1XeN1102: **...I know because he's sitting on the computer right next to me.  
**2of2: **OMG! I thought you were just makin' a test or something!!  
**HerMyOhMe: **I have to say, Ronald, I hope you don't get offended if I say that your brother is as dumb as a box of rocks.  
**OrangeYaGlad: **I don't :)  
**V1XeN1102: **I need to talk to you, Fred.  
**2of2: **No thanks.  
**V1XeN1102: **Now! Or detention!  
**2of2: **Hey.... this is kind of kinky....

* * *

_-V1XeN1102 has left the chatroom-_

_-2of2 has left the chatroom-_

**NaturallyBlond: **I think I might rip my brain out from my eye sockets after reading that...  
**HerMyOhMe: **I'm right there with ya.

_-PlayaTrix has entered the chatroom-_

_-V-o-l-d-i-e has entered the chatroom-_

**V-o-l-d-i-e: **VOLDIE RULEZ!!!!1!!!  
**PlayaTrix: **Fo reals, foo!  
**V-o-l-d-i-e: **Bellatrix! I told you not to talk like a whigga, and now you've gone and humilated me in front of all these people....  
**PlayaTrix: **Yo! You an't gots to tell this playa twice!  
**V-o-l-d-i-e: **-sigh-  
**V-o-l-d-i-e: **POTTER SUXXX!!!1!!!!1!!

_-V-o-l-d-i-e has left the chatroom-_

_-PlayaTrix has left the chatroom-_

**  
OrangeYaGlad: **oh em gee.  
**HerMyOhMe: **O_o


	5. Part 5: SS MOD

**1of2: **After Yesterdays incident with he-who-was-totally-named, we have upgraded security in our chatroom, by hiring a moderator.  
**2of2: **They should be here any minute now.

_-SS has entered the chatroom-_

**SS: **Hello, pipsqueaks.  
**2of2: **Hello? Are you the mod?  
**SS: **If by, "mod" you mean the newly hired Moderator then, yes, you are correct.  
**1of2: **What's your name?  
**SS: **I'm Severus Snape. But you two hooligans are required to refer to me as "Professor Snape." or "Moderator Snape." or "Snape, the groovy." Or, if you grow tired of typing, as you lollygaggers are often known to do. "Sir." is an adequete substitution.  
**2of2: **Wow.  
**1of2: **Do you ever let loose?  
**SS: **As a matter of fact, no.

_-HerMyOhMe has entered the chatroom-_

**HerMyOhMe: **Is it safe to enter again?  
**2of2: **Yup. We hired Snape, the groovy to watch over the chatroom.  
**HerMyOhMe: **Um.. sounds good?  
**SS: **Miss Granger?  
**HerMyOhMe: **You're correct.  
**SS: **I see. I'm making a list of all the usernames that access this chatroom, as a safety precaution.  
**1of2: **I sent you an email of them so far to you.  
**SS: **email?  
**1of2: **Yeah. Just click on the little box on the corner of the screen.  
**SS: **Mh-hm.  
**1of2: **Then open the file there, by clicking on it. It'll be from me.  
**SS: **"Increase your manhood overnight with this revolutionary pill and pump techinique!"?  
**1of2: **Uhh... That's not it.  
**2of2: **Thank god..  
**SS: **Oh. I see, the one next to it. And this is all of them?  
**1of2: **Yes.  
**SS: **Thank you.  
**1of2: **UR welcome.  
**SS: **Hm.. Interesting.  
**HerMyOhMe: **What is it?  
**SS: **I didn't know Draco was a natural blonde.

* * *

_-OrangeYaGlad has entered the chatroom-_

**OrangeYaGlad: **Sorry I was late, that bastard Snape gave me detention 'cause he heard me talking during his boring lecture!  
**HerMyOhMe: **Ron!  
**OrangeYaGlad: **What? It's not my fault that guy acts like his wand was shoved up his bum sideways.  
**HerMyOhMe: **I'm BEGGING you to shut up.  
**OrangeYaGlad: **Huh?  
**SS: **Why. I'm forever stunned by you. Ronald Weasley, if not by your inferiority, then by your neverending lack of wit and tact.  
**OrangeYaGlad: **Um.. That wouldn't happen to be..?  
**SS: **What other "SS" do you know, besides your "Surpassing Stupidity"?  
**OrangeYaGlad: **I... I mean... you're pretty much... ugh.  
**SS: **"Ugh" exactly. Mister Weasley. "Ugh" exactly.

* * *

_-HarryP has entered the chatroom-_

**OrangeYaGlad: **Saved by the bell.  
**HarryP: **Huh?  
**OrangeYaGlad: **Nothin', so how are you Harry?  
**HarryP: **Fine. So how did the whole security thing work out?  
**1of2: **Good, Prof. Snape's our new moderator.  
**HarryP: **That sounds like a LOAD of fun.. Why don't we throw in a few Azkaban serial killers and make it a real party?  
**1of2: **Don't be a cry baby.. I for one think that Snape has to have a weak spot.. Wanna help find it by asking irritating question?  
**HarryP: **Sounds like fun.  
**OrangeYaGlad: **I'm in.  
**HerMyOhMe: **I'll have nothing to do with this foolishness.  
**2of2: **Okay, so, Snape.  
**SS: **MOD Snape.  
**2of2: **FINE. Drama queen, MOD Snape. Boxer or briefs?  
**HerMyOhMe: **Excuse me?  
**SS: **Yeah, EXCUSE ME?  
**1of2: **You heard him.  
**SS: **UGH, BOXERS!  
**2of2: **Interesting..  
**OrangeYaGlad: **Favorite color?  
**HarryP: **I think we know the answer to this..  
**SS: **Purple.  
**HarryP: **Huh? Really? Not black?  
**SS: **Really, really. Just because I wear the color doesn't mean it's my favorite. Is your favorite color lightening bolt?  
**HarryP: **Touche.  
**OrangeYaGlad: **Do you ever wash your hair?  
**HerMyOhMe: **Goodness, Ron..  
**SS: **Yes. I do, and I use this great product called "Bumble and Bumble." You should try it, Miss Granger.  
**HerMyOhMe: **Really? Do they have one for frizziness control?  
**SS: **Yes. It's magic, I swear.  
**HerMyOhMe: **I used to use this really good sculpting cream but they stopped making it.  
**SS: **I know, that always happens to me. But, I vastly and highly recommend Bumble and Bumble.  
**HerMyOhMe: **Okay, I'll try it out, thanks!  
**SS: **You are welcome.  
**OrangeYaGlad: **...Is everyone else stunned into silence?...  
**1of2: **Uh-huh..!  
**HarryP: **Um.. Let's please just come up with another question and never speak of this again...  
**2of2: **...agreed.

_-NaturallyBlond has entered the chatroom-_

**NaturallyBlond: **Severus? Mummie told me to tell ask you wanted to have dinner with her and Daddy tonight.  
**SS: **That depends, what is Narcissa making?  
**NaturallyBlond: **Porkchops and Mac and cheese.  
**SS: **Well, Draco, you know I'm a sucker for Mac and cheese.  
**NaturallyBlond: **I know, I told them you'd say yes. Okay, thanks, I'll tell them.  
**HarryP: **OH. MY. GAWD.  
**1of2: **WE FOUND MOD. SNAPE'S DIRTY SECRET!  
**SS: **Excuse me? What would that be?  
**2of2: **Mac and cheese! :)

* * *


	6. Part 6: Silvrdoe

**Author's Note:  
Hey everyone! I'm sorry this update has been so long coming. I'm going to try and keep this up, because I am so happy that people liked it! This chapter isn't as humorous as I would like, but I'm trying to just get in the groove again! I definitely think I've become a better writer though, but I hope I haven't lost the funny and that you like it! If you have any fun ideas just tell me, and I'll try and include it!  
Oh, and WARNING: a part of this contains jokes that you won't get unless you have read The Deathly Hallows!  
**

* * *

**HerMyOhMe:** Anyone else on?  
**OrangeYaGlad: **hey!! :)  
**HerMyOhMe: **Hello, Ron.  
**OrangeYaGlad: **i thought you'd B stdying?  
**HerMyOhMe: **I'm finished, now I'm just making a clean copy.  
**OrangeYaGlad: **oops. I havnt even started.  
**HerMyOhMe: **Don't forget about Potions 2marrow!!!  
**OrangeYaGlad: **I was hopin 2 just copy off yrs? plz plz plz??  
**SS: **TEN POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR.  
**OrangeYaGlad: **OMG! prof snape!!  
**OrangeYaGlad: **I didn't kno u were on _  
**SS: **I'm the moderator. Just assume that I am always here, Mr Weasley.... in the shadows... watching....  
**HerMyOhMe: **Yeah, that's not unnerving at all.  
**OrangeYaGlad: **O_O i am scared

_-plantlvr has entered the chatroom-  
_**SS: **Is that you, Mr Longbottom?  
_-plantlvr has left the chatroom-  
_**SS: **: - J  
**SS: **mauhahaha.

**OrangeYaGlad: **uh, prof? i dont think my bros would be happy that ur scarying all of the guests out.  
**SS: **Oh, of course. I assure you, it twasn't my intention. ; )  
**OrangeYaGlad: **omg, herm, did he just wink evily at me?  
**HerMyOhMe: **My main concern is, did he just say "twasn't"?!  
**SS: **Yes, I did. On both accounts.  
**OrangeYaGlad: **uhhhhh i think i'll go study  
**HerMyOhMe: **that's a great idea

_-OrangeYaGlad has left the chatroom-_  
_-HerMyOhMe has left the chatroom-_

* * *

_-HarryP has entered the chatroom-_

**HarryP:** ugh, can't sleep. head is killin me. anyone on?  
**voldie11435: **POTTER SUX!!1! lololol  
**HarryP: **STFU UP, VOLDIE.

_-voldie11435 has left the chatroom-_

_**SS: **damn  
**HarryP: **i thought you banned him!  
**SS: **I did but he keeps making new accounts  
**SS: **....lolz_

_-silvrdoe has entered the chatroom-_

**silvrdoe: **hi  
**HarryP: **hello  
**silvrdoe: **whats up?  
**HarryP: **er, not alot. having trouble sleepin.  
**silvrdoe: **oh. is something wrong?  
**HarryP: **nothing from the norm, head aches. weird dreams, etc. sorta sucks.  
**silvrdoe: **aw. that stinks.  
**HarryP: **yeah.  
**silvrdoe: **so, is it hard bein harry potter?  
**HarryP: **i guess.  
**silvrdoe: **if u ever need 2 talk bout anything, i can listen  
**HarryP: **thats nice, thanks  
**silvrdoe: **no problem  
**HarryP: **uhhh, who r u?  
**silvrdoe: **a friend

_-silvrdoe has left the chatroom-  
_**  
HarryP: **wtf who was that?**  
SS: **-clears throat-**  
SS: **-shifty eyes-**  
SS: **-whistles-  
**HarryP: **maybe it was the ghost of my dad....?  
**SS: **-sighs-


	7. Part 7: a Slytherin soiree?

I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER. DUH.

At last! The long awaited return! I honestly cannot believe the sheer mass of kind comments that have urged me to continue some silly little thing that I first wrote when I was, what? thirteen? Gah. You guys are amazing. This ones for you all!

* * *

_-xxxmark has entered the chatroom-  
_**  
xxxmark: **heyy, flint in da house!  
**SS: **Greetings, Marcus Flint.**  
xxxmark: **prof, that you? woah, buzzkill.**  
SS: **Yes it is, last time I checked.**  
SS: **That was a joke.  
**SS:** Etiquette now says you would indicate that you thought it was funny. either by using chat speak or writing out that sounds of your laughter.  
**SS: **Marcus Flint, has your line been disconnected?  
**xxxmark: **uhhhh i'm just waiting for the other slytherins 2 show up  
**SS: **I see, so I take it you are having some sort of soiree?  
**xxxmark: **umm...

_-NaturallyBlond has entered the chatroom-_

**NaturallyBlond: **heyy  
**xxxmark: **yo  
**SS: **Greetings, Draco Malfoy.  
**NaturallyBlond: **hey professor.  
**SS: **So there is to be a party? I wish you would have told me. I would have made my bean dip.  
**NaturallyBlond: **nah, just invited some ppl to join us up in the chatroom.  
**SS: **aaaah, good old fashioned Slytherin fun I take it?  
**NaturallyBlind: **uh I guess  
**SS: **;)

* * *

_-BlaiseisACE has entered the chatroom-_

**BlaiseisACE: **helloooo fellas  
**xxxmark: **hey blaise  
**NaturallyBlond: **hey  
**BlaiseisACE: **yo draco did you hear pansy was looking for you earlier?  
**NaturallyBlond: **no, thank salazar. you didn't tell her where i was did you?  
**BlaiseisACE: **uhhhh...

_-pansythepurebloodprincess has entered the chatroom-_

**pansythepurebloodprincess: **HiYaA gUyS!  
**xxxmark: **hi**  
BlaiseisACE: **hey pansy whats up?**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **hAvE u sEeN dRaCo?**  
BlaiseisACE: **ummm**  
xxxmark: **yup he's online**  
NaturallyBlond: **marcus you twat!**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **dRaCo! **  
NaturallyBlond: **uh hey**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **hiii dArLiNg  
**pansythepurebloodprincess: **hOw R U dOiNg?**  
xxxmark:** um do you have to type lyke that?  
**pansythepurebloodprincess: **LoL lYkE wHat?**  
xxxmark:** nevermind

**SS: **I find all of this interesting.**  
BlaiseisACE: **omg don't you ever sign off?**  
SS: **not really. I enjoy watching your interractions. I find it interesting.**  
NaturallyBlond: **okayy that's kind of creepy**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **lol uR fUnNy pRoFeSsOr**  
SS: **Is there something wrong with your keyboard, Ms. Parkinson?**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **nO wHaT u MeAn?**  
SS: **nevermind**  
SS: **carry on  
**SS: **pretend I'm not here.**  
xxxmark: **i wish i could professor. i wish i could.

_-cho1979 has entered the chatroom-_

**cho1979: **Hello? am I using this thing properly?**  
NaturallyBlond: **omg GET OUT!**  
cho1979: **...what? pardon me?**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **eW oMiGoD gEt OuT BeTcH!**  
xxxmark: **slytherins only! no nerds allowed!  
**BlaiseisACE:**SIGN OUT LOSER**  
BlaiseisACE: **noone likes U!**  
cho1979: **but Harry invited me... I thought anyone could join?  
**NaturallyBlond: **he was wrong as usual! that twat thought he could keep diggory from dying too  
**NaturallyBlond: **how did that work out for you?  
**xxxmark: **dude, good one!**  
NaturallyBlond: **thx**  
xxxmark: ***-high fives-***  
cho1979: **how dare you! it wasn't Harry's fault that Cedric was killed!**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **sTeP oFf SkAnK! I KnO DiGgOrY BiT tHe DuSt & hArRy LyKeS tHat GiNgEr MoAr ThAn U BuT LeTs NoT GeT BiTtEr!**  
BlaiseisACE: **lol. she told you!**  
xxxmark: **you want some aqua eructo for that burn, cho? lol**  
cho1979: **you are all a bunch of stupid bullies! the whole lot of you!  
**SS: **name calling will not be tolerated, Ms. Chang.**  
cho1979: **professor? but they instigated this whole thing!**  
SS: **excuses are the weak man's clutch to greatness.**  
SS: **fifty points from ravenclaw for your cowardice.  
**xxxmark: **lol look at professor dropping knowledge on yo ass!**  
cho1979: **i'm sorry professor.**  
cho1979: **:'(

_-cho1979 has left the chatroom-_

**NaturallyBlond: **that was pretty awsum, prof.**  
SS: **I was merely doing my job.  
**NaturallyBlond: **oh  
**SS: **;)

_-bigpimpin has entered the chatroom-_

**bigpimpin: **...**  
xxxmark: **hey who is it?**  
bigpimpin: **...urrr  
**BlaiseisACE: **ur slytherin rite?**  
bigpimpin: **...hurrrr**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **oMiGaWd WhAt A mOrOn LoL LoL**  
NaturallyBlond: **wait. is that crabbe? I think its crabbe.  
**xxxmark: **waaaat?**  
bigpimpin: **...yarrrrr!**  
NaturallyBlond: **that means yes in crabbe speech  
**bigpimpin: **...hurgiarrrr.**  
NaturallyBlond: **and you don't want to know what that means in crabbe speech.**  
BlaiseisACE: **i always thought crabbe might have been petrified as a child and never recovered**  
xxxmark: **that would explain a lot**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **yA**  
bigpimpin: **...haarrr**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **sOoO dRaCeY. R U dOiNg AnYtHiNg L8r?**  
NaturallyBlond: **ummmm.**  
NaturallyBlond: **let me check my calender.

_-goylerules has entered the chatroom-_

**goylerules: **yo

**xxxmark: **hey goyle**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **hiYaAa**  
BlaiseisACE: **hey man**  
goylerules: **hi**  
bigpimpin: **...urrrrr**  
goylerules: **yo crabbe wat up?**  
bigpimpin: **...larggg**  
goylerules: **same here dude****

pansythepurebloodprincess: sO R U bUsY?**  
NaturallyBlond: **uhh my aunt died? uh yeah. i gotta go to her funeral.**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **oMg! R U OkAyY?**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **&dO U NeEd An EsCoRt?**  
xxxmark: **wait isn't your aunt bellatrix lestrange?**  
BlaiseisACE: **omg bellatrix lestrange died?**  
goylerules: **omg! no way! i would have heard about it!**  
NaturallyBlond: **you know.. sometimes I really hate you guys...**  
pansythepurebloodprincess:** w8 R U tRyInG 2 LiE 2 Me DrAcO?**  
NaturallyBlond: **noo i was just kidding. right guys.**  
BlaiseisACE: **wait. so she isn't dead?**  
xxxmark: **i'm confuseddd**  
NaturallyBlond: **really. why do i hang out with you people?  
**NaturallyBlond: **it was a joke pansy! of course i wouldn't lie to you.  
**pansythepurebloodprincess: **aWwW. ThEn CoMe OuT WiTh Me 2NiTe. On A dAtE! **  
NaturallyBlond: **what I meant was my other aunt died**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **oMg! I JuSt DoN'T GeT U!1**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **U oBvIoUsLy H8 mE! oR U wOuLdN't LiE!**  
xxxmark: **look. a lovers quarrel.**  
NaturallyBlond: **can it flint!  
**NaturallyBlond: **and i wouldn't say i HATE you, pansy...**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **oMg! U jUsT mAdE tHe BiGgEst MiStAkE oF Ur LiFe!

_-pansythepurebloodprincess has left the chatroom-_

**xxxmark: **lol. win!**  
BlaiseisACE: **i donno, don't you sorta feel bad for her?**  
goylerules: **that psycho? no way!**  
NaturallyBlond: **maybe she'll finally leave me alone now :D**  
bigpimpin: **...arrrrhhh**  
NaturallyBlond: **right u are, crabbe. right u are.**  
BlaiseisACE: **so wat now? i'm getting bored**  
goylerules: **me2**  
xxxmark: **i've got a keg of firewhiskey in my dorm & theres a party in the slytherin coms. tonite!**  
goylerules: **yess!**  
BlaiseisACE: **i'm soooo there**  
NaturallyBlond: **but I thought we were gonna terroize the chatroom?  
**xxxmark: **dude come on! i hear astoria greengrass is gonna come**  
NaturallyBlond: **okay fine fine

* * *

_-V1xeN1102 has entered the chatroom-_

**V1xeN1102: **professor snape?**  
SS: **yes?**  
V1xeN1102: **this might sound silly, but I've heard gossip that some of the slytherin students are planning on "invading" the chatroom, and harrassing anyone who isn't one of them. since you are the head of house, I thought you might have heard something?  
**SS: **That's just ridiculous, Minerva.


	8. Part 8: Dumbles

**I don't own Harry Potter!  
I'm on a roll today, so expect more updates throughout the day. :D **

* * *

_- pansythepurebloodprincess has entered the chatroom -  
- LavieBrown has entered the chatroom -_

**LavieBrown: **sigh.**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **?  
**LavieBrown: **oh sorry, i was just pining away for my unrequited love.**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **tHaT's FuNnY. mE 2.  
**LavieBrown: **really? small world.  
**pansythepurebloodprincess: **i GaVe HiM mY hEaRt & hE bRoKe It In2 a MiLLIoN PiEcEs.**  
LavieBrown: **same thing happened to me. only add a frizzy haired beyotch into the mix.**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **sOrRy GuRl. :(**  
LavieBrown: **:(**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **LeTs CrUcIO tHeIR aSsEs**  
LavieBrown: **yeah! that'll teach em!**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **:D**  
LavieBrown: **:D  
**LavieBrown: **: /**  
LavieBrown: **if he wasn't so hot i'd totally do it for real**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **I nO. My LuV iS ToO hOt 2 kiLL.**  
pansythepurebloodprincess: **mAybE i'LL juSt Go WriTe SoMe AnGstY pOeTrY.**  
LavieBrown: **see u.

_- pansythepurebloodprincess has left the chatroom -  
- HerMyOhMe has entered the chatroom -_

**HerMyOhMe: **hullo? anyone here?**  
LavieBrown: **you!**  
LavieBrown: **D:**  
HerMyOhMe: **...

_- LavieBrown has sent HerMyOhMe a photo link. Click __here__ to view it -_

**HerMyOhMe: **oh for goodness sake**  
HerMyOhMe: **very mature Lavender.**  
LavieBrown: **leave my man alone! or ELSE!

_- LavieBrown has left the chatroom -_

**SS: **do I want to click on that?  
**HerMyOhMe: **no. you don't.

_- HerMyOhMe has left the chatroom -  
__

* * *

  
- dumbles has entered the chatroom -_

**dumbles: **greetings**  
SS: **hello, albus**  
dumbles: **severus is it? how are things?**  
SS: **indeed. fine I suppose. everything alright?**  
dumbles: **positively. in fact, I've been feeling rather nostalgic today**  
SS: **oh really? reminsecing about all of your past girlfriends, old chap? lol jk**  
dumbles: **... in a manner of speaking.**  
SS: **? sir?**  
dumbles: **o yes. he was quite the hot little slice indeed.**  
dumbles: **um, i mean she. lololol.**  
SS: **of course sir**  
dumbles: **I remember it was a warm summer nite when I first got to 3rd base w/ him.**  
dumbles: ***her.**  
SS: **o_o**  
dumbles: **I knew that I had fallen for a complete psychopath.**  
dumbles: **a sexy, sexy psychopath.**  
SS: **you're making me uncomfortable, albus**  
dumbles: **his you-know-what was massive.**  
dumbles: **i mean her you-know-what was massive.  
**dumbles: **lol. ;D**  
SS: **sigh.

_- moderator SS has left the chatroom -_****

dumbles: oops. seems i've gotten a bit carried away.

_- plantlvr has entered the chatroom- _

**plantlvr: **you finally got him to sign off!**  
plantlvr: **ur the best professor! :D**  
dumbles: **you are most welcome mr longbottom.**  
plantlvr: **was that ur plan all along?**  
dumbles: **was what my plan?**  
plantlvr: **D:**  
dumbles: **:D

_- dumbles has left the chatroom -_

**plantlvr: **of course no one is online now**  
plantlvr: **anyone?**  
plantlvr: **hullo?**  
plantlvr: **: l__

- plantlvr has left the chatroom -


	9. Part 9: NarglesRreal

**I don't own Harry Potter!**  
**Yay for updates! :D**

* * *

_- HarryP has entered the chatroom -_

**HarryP: **any1 on?**  
OrangeYaGlad: **yo harr  
y**HarryP: **hey**  
HarryP: **whats up?**  
OrangeYaGlad: **not much. resting up for quidditch practice l8r**  
HarryP: **me2.

_- Vodka has entered the chatroom -_

**Vodka: **hullo**  
HarryP: **hi ginny! :)**  
Vodka: **hi harry :)**  
Vodka: **what are u up 2?  
**HarryP: **the usual. working out & stuff. lifting weights.**  
OrangeYaGlad: **LOL LIAR.**  
HarryP: **Ron! STFU.**  
OrangeYaGlad: **what u r lyinggg.**  
Vodka: **if harry said he was working out, he was working out.**  
HarryP: **thank u!**  
Vodka: **;)**  
OrangeYaGlad: **o really? how ru workin out if you on the computer?  
**HarryP: **um...

_- Dean80 has entered the chatroom -_

**Dean80**: hey  
**Vodka:** hi dean ;)**  
Dean80**: heyy ginny**  
OrangeYaGlad**: lol this is sorta awkward**  
Vodka**: just ignore him dean**  
Dean80**: gin, i got a new quaffle today. i'd love to show it 2 u.**  
Vodka:** where u at?**  
Dean80: **gryff. commons.**  
Vodka: **great. on my way!

_- Vodka has left the chatroom -  
- Dean80 has left the chatroom -_

**HarryP: **dude**  
HarryP: **no offense but ur sis is a slut**  
OrangeYaGlad: **none taken.**  
HarryP: **but why does that make me love her more? D:  
**OrangeYaGlad: **lol

* * *

**HarryP: **u still on ron?  
**OrangeYaGlad: **yep**  
HarryP: **sirius (err. I mean SNUFFLES) owled me a old photo of my mum he found 2day, look. :D

_- HarryP posted a photo link. Click __here__ to view it -_

**OrangeYaGlad: **aww thats cool.**  
OrangeYaGlad: **wait  
**OrangeYaGlad: **now that I look at her. she sorta reminds me of ginny...**  
HarryP: **OMG**  
OrangeYaGlad: **sorry bro, had to say it.  
**HarryP: **again, why does that make me like her moarrr? D:**  
OrangeYaGlad: **ew**  
OrangeYaGlad: **when u use it like that, it's just creepy**  
SS: **yea potter, creepy.**  
SS:** BTW where can i get ginny's number?

_- OrangeYaGlad has left the chatroom -__  
- HarryP has left the chatroom -_

**SS: **anybody?**  
SS: **hullo?  
**SS: **D:

_- OrangeYaGlad has entered the chatroom -_

**OrangeYaGlad:** ooof. quidditch practice was rough 2day.  
**OrangeYaGlad**: everything hurrrts.  
**Vodka**: suck it up, princess  
**OrangeYaGlad**: D: ur the meanest sister/teammate evar!  
**Vodka**: oh boo hoo  
**Vodka:** whatsa matter, got your period?  
**OrangeYaGlad:** :( no.  
**Vodka:** arh, sorry. post-practice endorphins make me scary. ^_^;  
**OrangeYaGlad:** i noticed.  
**Vodka:** oops. lol.

_- Vodka has left the chatroom -  
_

_

* * *

- HerMyOhMe has entered the chatroom -_

**HerMyOhMe: **hey ron. harry wants us to visit hagrid today.**  
OrangeYaGlad: **can we do it l8r? i'm beat**  
HerMyOhMe: **sore from practice? : /**  
OrangeYaGlad: **yes! :(**  
HerMyOhMe: **oh no. don't worry about it, we'll see him another him. feel better!**  
OrangeYaGlad: **thanks hermione! ur the best!**  
HerMyOhMe: **oh.. er. thanks. you are, too.  
**OrangeYaGlad: **thanks :)**  
HerMyOhMe: **:)

_- LavieBrown has entered the chatroom -_

**LavieBrown: **ron is MINE!  
**LavieBrown: **BACK OFF!

_- LavieBrown has left the chatroom -_

**HerMyOhMe: **...**  
OrangeYaGlad: **...bloody hell.**  
HerMyOhMe: **i'll talk to you tomorrow**  
OrangeYaGlad: **uh yea, u 2.

_- HerMyOhMe has left the chatroom -_

**1of2: **woah**  
2of2: **that was hella awkward**  
OrangeYaGlad: **u creepers! r u always lurking around n reading other ppls convos without revealing urselves?**  
1of2: **pretty much**  
2of2: **like 99 percent of the time.**  
OrangeYaGlad: **u freaks! u don't even go to this school anymore!**  
OrangeYaGlad: **ur worse than snape!**  
SS**: what was that now, mr. weasley?**  
OrangeYaGlad: **OMG.

_- OrangeYaGlad has left the chatroom -_

**SS:** lurking is more fun anyway**  
2of2: **totally.

* * *

_- Nargles-R-real has entered the chatroom -_

**HarryP: **hey luna, that you?**  
Nargles-R-real: **it certainly is.**  
Nargles-R-real: **hiiiiiiiii.**  
HarryP: **hi  
**HarryP: **how r u?**  
Nargles-R-real: **splendid! in fact, i just finished creating a 'web site' for the daily quibbler! thanks to this computer machine!**  
HarryP: **that's great luna**  
Nargles-R-real: **_./online_**  
Nargles-R-real: **have you checked it out?**  
HarryP: **uh, yeah. just did. fascinating. **  
Nargles-R-real: **that's odd. because it still says that it has 0 visitors.**  
HarryP: **...  
**Nargles-R-real: **must be broken.**  
HarryP: **yeah, must be. ^_^;


End file.
